Tuesday 9 August 2011

Arab spring protesters back UK rioters in their fight for new trainers


Protesters who took to the streets to bring democracy to the Middle East have today given their support to UK rioters in their quest for new trainers and a flat-screen television.

Revolutionaries across Tunisia, Libya and Egypt have said that the televised scenes in the UK can only mean that these young people are being subjected to regimes which they are all too familiar with.

One Tunisian told us, “Everyone knows that young people only take to the streets when there is something really worth fighting for, so yes, we’re totally behind them.”

“We know what it’s like to live in fear for your life due to powerful oppressors, so we can totally sympathise with their desire to get a new shell suit.”

“We are with our brothers in spirit, and we hope they bring about the change they seek. Even if that change is merely to move up from Reebok to Nike.”

“We will give them all the support we can in helping them overcome a system of oppression where they are forced to use money to pay for things that they want.”

London Riots

Rioters across the country have insisted that the dramatic scenes last night were all merely attempts to improve their lives in the long term – by owning lots of new consumer electricals and tawdry fashion accessories.

We spoke to one London rioter who told us, “People out there don’t realise how hard it is for young people to get a really good television when you have to actually buy it.”

“This is really the  only way for people like me to ever have a chance of experiencing 50-inch high definition 3D – as is my right as a British citizen.”

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