Thursday 4 August 2011 by waylandsmithy

Aussie’s 10-hour ordeal as police battle with necktie


A brave Australian is recovering from an epic battle with a necktie, after receiving an anonymous invite to a dinner.

Police experts were entangled with the device for 10 hours, but were baffled by its sheer complexity.

“We had to phone experts in the UK”, explained Inspector Waggins, a very plain-clothed police officer.

“They asked us if it was a white tie or black tie affair, but we told them it was yellow, with little green koalas on it.”

“They told us to get knotted but that’s why we phoned them in the first place. The guy was getting pretty angry, he sounded ready to explode.”

Australian’s ordeal

The team of ‘necksperts’ eventually searched the internet for instructions.

“We’d exhausted our ideas. Shouting at it didn’t seem to help, and the staple gun was a mistake. Lucky for us, one of our guys is a computer expert.”

“After an hour or so, we stumbled across the correct spelling for ‘tie’ and there was no stopping us. It quickly became apparent that the tie required a collar to work properly.”

“The device turned out not to be viable with a tanktop, so we just drew one on with a marker. We even managed to replicate the little koalas.”

The quick-thinking officers had successfully cracked the dress code, but police now believe the whole event was an elaborate hoax.

“We gave the anonymous invite to the guys in forensics. Turns out there isn’t an Annual Australian Modesty Awards. Shame that, I’d have definitely won.”

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