Wednesday 3 August 2011 by Formelia Alberthine

Australian government to deter asylum seekers with YouTube videos of ‘Australians’


The Australian government is to deter would-be asylum seekers from entering the country by posting various YouTube videos of Australian people, being Australian.

Australian officials hope the move will be sufficient to encourage so called ‘boat-people’ to remain in their native country, rather than be subjected to a spell of racially motivated mistreatment in the Antipodean country.

The video will show a number of Australians swearing in high pitched monosyllabic tones, whilst fighting wildly in the streets of Sydney as they persecute the indigenous population for continuing to exist.

An official confided that those immigrant who are not deterred will be subject to the ‘nuclear option’ – a phone call from Mel Gibson.

Australian Asylum video

Would-be immigrant, Taj Ramutrapan, said he had seen enough in the first thirty seconds of the first video posted to reconsider his desire to move his family to a safer country.

He told reporters, “I was totally shocked at what I saw.”

“I could almost smell the alcohol on the breath of the subjects of the video as they spouted bilous rhetoric about how the Aborigine’s had no right to occupy a place they had called home for many thousands of years.”

“So what would they think about us, who would have only been there for five minutes?’

“To be honest with you, I would rather be taken from behind by a mountain gorilla than subject my family to that kind of relentless hatred.”

Australian Minister for Immigration, Charlie Park, felt the videos showed a side to Australia that glossy brochures generally failed to encapsulate.

“People see the sun, the sand and those blonde babes strolling around with next to nothing on and everyone thinks, ‘Hey lets abuse the social system there’.”

“I say, ‘why not let us abuse you, socially’?”

“Sounds fair to me.”

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