Monday 1 August 2011 by waylandsmithy

England rugby team accused of eye gouging in scrum for Zara Phillips’ bouquet


The Royal wedding of Zara Phillips and England rugby player Mike Tindall was cited by the RUFC yesterday, after ugly scenes broke out in most of the wedding photos.

The wedding was a good-tempered affair to begin with, with Princess Zara was swept down the aisle to the traditional ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot’, halting briefly to palm off her veil: a classic dummy blind.

Tindall was ready for her at the altar, but was clearly nervous and checked his tackle.

The rings were passed to Tindall by Johnnie Wilkinson, in a risky move that has left the fly-half out for three months with a shoulder injury.

Once the couple were joined in Rugby Union, the congregation stood for five renditions of “Why Was He Born So Beautiful” and two of “The Hairs On Her Dicky-Di-Do”.

Visibly moved, the vicar passed around the plate, which many complained was the wrong shape.

Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall Wed

The trouble started after the entourage left the church, just as the guests began to sip champagne from their shoes.

One group pushed table decorations up their bottoms for a dare, shortly before the throwing of the bouquet was announced.

Acting on instinct, the groom’s guests rushed forwards, and four bridesmaids needed hospital treatment for injuries including a gouged eye, broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a ripped-off ear.

Team manager Martin Johnson defended his players, “Some of the guys thought that catching the bouquet would win them a princess but it doesn’t work like that. Not every catch is in line to the thrown.”

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