Friday 29 July 2011

Men driving in circles not as important as men hitting ball with stick, declares BBC


Overweight men repeatedly hitting a small ball with a stick is significantly more important than men driving round in circles for two hours, the BBC announced this afternoon.

The announcement that full Formula One coverage will now move to Sky Sports has been greeted by motorsport fans with all the enthusiasm of someone expecting a scaffolding tube enema.

Sports fan Dave Matthews told us, “Multi-millionaires driving really fast round the same corner, over and over again, is the best thing on the BBC.”

“I can’t believe they’re willing to give that up in order to keep Sue Barker and Tim Henman in a job.”

“Let me be clear, if the choice is between me giving up something I dearly love, or giving Rupert Murdoch so much as a single sodding penny, then it’s ‘goodbye thing I love’.”

“And I include my own children in that.”

Formula One moves to Sky Sports

The BBC defended the decision to cut back on its Formula One coverage by saying “Martin Brundle” over and over again.

A spokesperson for the corporation told us, “We consider that big game in the fields with all the men from around the world using really expensive sticks to hit the ball into the hole as being among the ‘crown jewels’ of our sports coverage.”

“And of course, by ‘crown jewels’ I mean that you wouldn’t want to be kicked in the ‘crown jewels’.”

Formula One impresario Bernie Ecclestone defended the new deal, telling fans, “You can all rest assured that this new deal has been negotiated in the best interests of Bernie Ecclestone.”

“Also, are people really complaining that they think adverts will ruin the thing that is covered top to tail in adverts?”

“People are funny, aren’t they?”

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