Britain is basking in the glow of being recognised for its complete lack of imagination today, after the names Oliver and Olivia were announced as the most popular baby names of the year, again.
British parents everywhere are congratulating themselves and toasting with champagne over the news, whilst their new born children sit idly by, confused at what is going on.
An official statistician for the government said, “It is a remarkable achievement that parents everywhere have got the imagination to name their children after either the male or female version of the same name.”
“It truly shows how much parents care about the name their children will carry with them for life.”
Not only are Oliver and Olivia the most popular names, it also marks the second year in a row that both have topped the table, showing that Britain has lacked any imagination for over two years.
Those children who are now called Oliver and Olivia must look forward to the rest of their lives being classed as ‘common’.
An expert on baby names told us, “Oliver and Olivia will be 2030’s Trevor and Sharon – mark my words.”
Meanwhile, new and unique names have also entered the list included an interestingly named little girl called Harper Seven.