In an attempt to stem their growing debt crisis, the International Monetary Fund has told Greece it must abandon the Euro in favour of the more restrictive Paypal.
Christine Lagarde, head of the IMF, told reporters, “We think Greece deserves a second chance, but they also need to learn the value of money, to stop this happening again.”
“So we’ve agreed to pay off their debts, and we’ve stuck 50 quid in an electronic account for them – but they now know we can see how they spend it.”
Following the announcement, the major financial markets rose by an average of 10 points, but eBay jumped by 46%.
Greece turns to Paypal
Greece has embraced its new-found financial independence, and after buying an antique olive stoner from Italy to gain some positive feedback, Greece successfully sold a bottle of Ouzo and 3 tonnes of baklava, and has earned a little yellow star.
Even after Paypal fees, the economy is looking rosier than ever.
There are dangers for the emerging Power Trader, and Greece only narrowly avoided being conned out of 2 months of walnut production by Nigeria.
“It was very close”, explained George Papandreou, the president and password holder for ‘Zorba1340’.
“Fortunately, we got an email warning against trading outside the market, and we just managed to stop the shipment as their Worldpay payment was reversed. I’ve reported them to ebay: it’s the last time we deal with a country that has less than 5-star feedback.”
But rogue transactions are not the only problem for Greece.
For a ‘joke’, the United Kingdom advertised the Elgin Marbles with a ‘buy it now’ price of £500 with ‘no swaps’.
Riots broke out in Athens when it emerged that the auction insisted on cash on collection, and an offer of some spare olympic stadiums, a couple of islands and a tub of tzatziki was turned down.
Papandreou was philosophical about the failed sale, “We wouldn’t have been allowed to buy them anyway. Ebay specifically forbids the sale of stolen goods.”