Friday 15 July 2011

Vince Cable on verge of becoming insufferable


Members of Parliament are on the verge of breaking after Vince Cable ordered another 500 “I told you so” t-shirts in which to strut around Westminster reminding everyone that he was right about Murdoch all along.

The Secretary of State for Business had all responsibilities for the Murdoch BSkyB bid removed from his portfolio in late 2010, after declaring that he wouldn’t trust Murdoch “as far as I could drag him by the testicles”.

Since then, it appears that the rest of the government has slowly been forced to agree with Cable, leading to him wearing the sort of shit-eating smug grin normally associated with Conservative MPs.

A Whitehall insider told us, “Someone, and I’m not naming names, has been putting up posters bearing the slogan ‘Vince was right!'”

“Which, I suppose, is technically correct.”

Vince Cable proven right

Former MPs have reacted positively to the news they don’t have to watch Vince Cable prancing around the corridors of power, but reminded everyone that all he did was say what most people thought in private.

“As predictions go, this isn’t exactly Nostradamus-esque, is it.” said one.

“I’m guessing in the movie version which Vince is no doubt scripting right now, thanks to the FBI’s involvement, he’ll be the hero behind the collapse of this global criminal conspiracy and he’ll be played by George Clooney.”

“When I think we all know Jim Broadbent would be much better suited to the role.”

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