Thursday 14 July 2011 by Spacey

Football hooligans forced to choose between violence and love of Christ


With a number of fixtures throughout the football league being rearranged to take place on a Sunday, football hooligans are facing the dilemma of whether to indulge in football-related violence or celebrate the love of Jesus Christ.

Fears of violent clashes between opposing fans have led to fixtures being rearranged after police highlighted that hooligans are notoriously less active before 1pm on Sundays because of their well known commitment to Jesus.

“I’m really not sure what to do,” said 28 year old Millwall fan, Paul Barry .

“Do I immerse myself in the love of Jesus or carry out the urge to take vast amounts of cocaine and destroy beer gardens?”

Sunday hooliganism a ‘dilemma’

It’s not just hooligans that have been left disappointed by the switch, with fans of clubs affected by fixture changes left concerned about how the early kick offs will impact upon their drinking time.

“When it’s a 3pm kick off, I tend to pace myself so that when the game starts I’m pleasantly drunk,” said one Cardiff supporter.

“If it’s a 12.30 kick off, I’ll end up drinking much more quickly and end up getting so pissed I’ll probably kick the shit out of anyone for even the slightest provocation.”

“Which is a much more ‘Saturday’ thing to do.”

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