Friday 8 July 2011

Men furious as first synthetic organ transplant has nothing to do with genitals


Surgeons in Sweden who performed the world’s first synthetic organ transplant have stunned the medical profession by confirming the transplant was nowhere near the genital region.

Scientists in London created an artificial windpipe which was then coated in stem cells from the patient, before the operation left their genital area completely untouched.

NHS user Simon Williams told us, “I’m not saying it’s not a little bit impressive, it is, but it’s still millions and millions of dollars spent building a highly-convincing fake windpipe.”

“Could that not have been spent on something a bit, erm, more in demand?”

“Let’s see a global show of hands shall we? Who wants a new windpipe? Fine. Now, who wants a bigger penis? There we go, that’s what I’m talking about.”

Synthetic organs

Professor Paolo Macchiarini from Italy led the pioneering surgery, which took place at the Karolinska University Hospital, and he led the post operative press-conference.

He told a packed room, “I can see you all have your hands up, and I realise you all have questions, but I’d like to start by saying that we’re at least five years away from being able to create a workable synthetic penis to your exact specifications.”

“So, any other questions? No?”

“Thanks for your time.”

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