Wednesday 6 July 2011 by @JohnnyBeelzebub

Coronation Street needs more well-bred homophobes, claims Brian Sewell


Coronation Street needs to more accurately reflect the make-up of Britain today by including more well-bred overtly-camp self-loathing homophobes, claimed critic Brian Sewell in the Daily Mail today.

Sewell said that the long-running soap opera had lost sight of it’s demographic, and that a lack of eloquent homophobes was turning it into a caricature of its former self.

He told readers, “Where are all the plum-voiced septuagenarian queens with one foot still in the closet, looking down their noses at all the homosexuals?”

“What we need is more aged characters who are inexplicably drawn to all the homosexual activity, but then write acerbic columns on the matter because they can’t look themselves in the mirror.”

“And if they’re not going to show these characters, they should definitely show more gritty northern men. With their shirts off. And a bit sweaty.”

“And if those sweaty semi-naked men have to wrestle each other every now and again in the name of art, then so be it.”

Brian Sewell’s Coronation Street review

The Daily Mail has been praised by its readers for doing its best to ignore the tedious phone-hacking story which threatens to engulf the entire tabloid industry.

Reader Shane Williams told us, “The best way to make me forget about all the potential illegal activity you’ve been undertaking for years and years is to make me insanely angry about all the gays on the tellybox.”

“So you have to say this article pretty much nails it.”

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