Wednesday 29 June 2011

Gaddafi puts ICC arrest warrant behind mantelpiece clock with all the others


Under-fire Libyan leader colonel Gaddafi has reacted the International Criminal Court arrest warrant in his name by placing it behind the clock on the mantelpiece with all the other documents of international condemnation.

The ICC issued the arrest warrant in the misguided belief that learning he isn’t very popular would spur Gaddafi to surrender to the UN forces outside Libya.

Military analyst Mike Shane told us, “It seems the ICC plan was to make him give up his murderous campaign by issuing a document saying we’re not very happy about it.”

“For the life of me I can’t seem to understand why this hasn’t worked.”

“I don’t think we can be any clearer about our attitude towards his behaviour, and unfortunately there are very few formal documents was can issue with his name on it that adequately articulate our feelings on the matter.”

Gaddafi Arrest Warrant

Libyan insiders say that Gaddafi picked up the arrest warrant from his doormat, along with all his other post, whilst making breakfast in his dressing gown on Tuesday.

An aide told us, “Oh, the ICC arrest warrant? Yeah, I saw that. It’s right there between to UN Security Council resolution 1973 and the menu from Domino’s Pizza. Unless the recycling bins have been collected already.”

“I think it’s fair to say the arrest warrant left him slightly less angry than yet another Reader’s Digest award telling him he’d probably won another £100,000.”

“Someone should really do something about those scam artists.”

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