The amount of taxpayers’ money that the Prince of Wales spent on doing princey-related stuff increased by 18% last year.
Amongst the purchases included in the £1,962,000 he received from taxpayers last year was a mouthwash that was made using the tears of an orphaned pheasant.
It was also revealed that the full-time equivalent of 132.8 members of staff were employed to look a after Charles, Camilla, William, Kate and Prince Harry at the end of March this year, an increase in neediness of 7% on the previous year.
The Prince’s principal private secretary, Sir Michael Peat, blamed the figures on the rising cost of princing.
“People think that all Prince Charles does is get driven around in posh cars, attend functions where people fawn all over him, go on fancy holidays and talk shit.”
“I would suggest that People who think Prince Charles has an easy life should try walking a mile in his shoes”
“However, he buys new shoes after every five hundred yards, so that would be against royal protocol.”