Friday 24 June 2011 By @JohnnyBeelzebub

Cameron limits amount of your money to be cast into an abyss


The Prime Minister has reached an agreement with the European Union to throw a little less of your money into a bottomless chasm for no good reason.

The abyss is located in Southern Europe and was once the home of civilisation but is now only the heavily mortgaged home of people who do little else but riot.

EU leaders have come to the conclusion that this economy based upon utter anarchy is a sound place to invest your money because it ‘should yield a return of zero, if you’re incredibly lucky’.

Daniel Ferry from Edmonton, who is not an economist, said, “I don’t really see how that works. Though I can see the fascination with a hole that somehow gets bigger as you fill it.”

“But the idea has less appeal for me when it’s money that could offset the tax avoidance of George Osborne which is being magicked away.”

“Perhaps they could just fill the hole in the ozone layer with CFCs instead. It would give a similar result.”

Courageous Cameron

David Cameron has fortunately won a battle to throw away a little bit less of the money you work very hard for, and looks set to become a national hero.

“We’re only banishing another measly €1 billion into the gaping Greek void,” he announced triumphantly. “And I’d be lying if I said that we’ll ever see it again.”

Mr Cameron went onto say that he is confident he will see the money again.

He also explained that – had his government not enforced all  its controversial cuts upon you – Britain would not have been able to waste your money on this pointless exercise, adding  ‘Just imagine how silly we would’ve looked then’.

The people of Greece are expected to welcome the arrival of your money by staging another angry uprising.

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