Wednesday 15 June 2011 By @JohnnyBeelzebub

Gaddafis to be seated in the line of fire at Olympic shooting events


Members of the Gaddafi family have been given special seats for the shooting events at London 2012 which will be conveniently located between the competitors’ guns and their targets.

The Libyan dictator’s eldest son, Muhammad, has been allocated close to 1000 tickets for the games which will include newly positioned places at the shooting and in other sports, such as archery and javelin.

“We want to give the Gaddafis the welcome they truly deserve,” London 2012 chairman, Lord Coe, told reporters.

“And I think these seats directly in front of the targets for the pistol, rifle and shotgun events will show them exactly how much we want them here in our country.”

“They will be the centre of attention and will be sat there with all eyes being trained on them, in much the same way that the gunsights will be.”

New chair design

Organisers are going to great lengths to guarantee that the Gaddafis are given their due and are even having the seats for the shooting events specially designed.

“Obviously, we want them to feel as comfortable as possible,” 2012 chief executive Paul Deighton explained. “That way they’ll be more likely to keep really still, which is a pretty crucial to the whole plan.”

“We’re very conscious that any sudden movements made by the Gaddafis could distract the competitors and cause them to miss their targets which would ruin the spectacle for just about everyone.”

Deighton confirmed that the chairs will also be made with an easy-to-clean material which is resistant to tough stains ‘including blood and brain fragments’, and will also be height adjustable so that the bullseye can always be made to conveniently correspond to the eye level of the special guests.

“It is of paramount importance that all Gaddafis have a perfect view of every bullet entering their heads.”

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