Wednesday 15 June 2011 by Spacey

Francis Maude becomes first ever Tory to express concern for single mothers


Cabinet Office minister Francis Maude could be heading into the record books after he became the first Tory in history to express concern for single mothers.

An independent adjudicator has been called in to verify the record after some people questioned whether they were a genuine expression of concern or were just some bullshit attempt to deflect support away from planned strike action by school teachers.

Speaking on Radio 4’s Today Programme Mr Maude said, “Single mums depend on schools to look after their kids.”

The comment was followed by audible gasps of astonishment from the other guests, followed by much scrambling around by the presenters and the noisy sifting of now-worthless pre-prepared notes.

Francis Maude human?

Mr Maude defended the sincerity of his comments and promised that he is sympathetic to the hardships facing single parents.

“It can’t be easy juggling the responsibility of being a parent with work commitments.” He told an open-mouthed John Humphrys.

Listeners to the show bombarded the BBC with phone calls and emails to clarify whether they’d heard correctly or had begun hallucinating through their ears.

“I’m not sure what I find most astonishing,” revealed one listener, “that a Conservative minister expressed concern for the plight of single parents or that he confused education with childcare.”

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