Tuesday 14 June 2011 by Spacey

Republican presidential nomination debate to find most mentally unstable


Seven Republican presidential hopefuls have used the first major debate to try and out-mental each other in the race for the White House.

The candidates for the party’s nomination debated a number of different issues including:

  • Banning gay couples from marrying;
  • Banning gays from serving openly in the military;
  • Banning gays from serving openly in bars and restaurants;
  • The effects of gays on the economy;
  • Gays and the healthcare system;
  • Banning Gays;
  • Banning dinosaurs;
  • Gays – Why?

Five out of seven of the candidates said they would support an amendment to the US constitution banning same-sex marriage, with the other two insisted that even admitting the existence of gays was a crime against Jesus.

Palin too significant

There is still much speculation about whether former Alaska Governor and leading anti-dinosaur campaigner Sarah Palin will run for president.

“Sarah Palin is the voice of all American dinosaur deniers,” revealed one of her supporters. “What this country needs is someone who is prepared to set a clear path to Jesus, while completely ignoring irrefutable facts.”

Democrats are hopeful of President Obama being elected for a second term, and have adopted a tactic that they believe will ensure that he retains the presidency.

“We are going to let the Republicans do all the talking” revealed a White House Spokesperson.

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