Monday 13 June 2011 by Formelia Alberthine

Ramblers march to reclaim the word ‘walk’ from feminists


Britain’s ramblers are to march through central London to reclaim the word ‘walk’ from Slutwalk feminists amidst fears the campaign’s abuse of the word could lead to the sexualisation of the innocent pastime.

Rambler group, Prolaps, say they will take immediate action to prevent the word from being permanently associated with the behaviour of semi-naked women clearly not prepared for a proper ‘walk’.

Prolaps spokeswoman Una Part told reporters, “It is our duty to challenge a crack team of over exposed young women who insisted on dragging a pastime as pure as ‘walking’ into the gutter of exposed breasts and seductively swaying hips.”

“It’s wholly irresponsible to just rope in a totally innocent section of society, like ramblers, and tack them on to the back of a movement that, quite frankly, has uncovered more lady bits than the arrest of Ted Bundy.”

Slutwalk not a proper ‘walk’

Ms Part went to outline an area of particular distaste to ramblers, “I mean, what they were wearing was totally inappropriate for a long days walking in the countryside, or any public thoroughfare for that matter.”

“Micro-skirts, lingerie, and barely there boob tubes? They wouldn’t last five minutes in the Peak District  for goodness sake.”

“Not only do I shudder to think where they might keep their packed lunch and compass, but they’d soon die of exposure after dusk.”

Ms Part offered little support to the marching women as she was unconvinced at the merits of the cause.

“I get that they’re trying to reclaim the word ‘slut’ – and good on them for that – but why did they have to drag the word ‘walk’ down with them?”

“They are trivialising walking, and this will lead to walkers being left stranded, perhaps suffering injury – or worse – and people will then say it was all the walkers fault because of the way they were dressed – is that what they want?”

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