Monday 13 June 2011 by Spacey

Miliband uses speech to acknowledge importance of the ‘moron vote’


Troubled Labour leader, Ed Miliband has attempted to bolster support for his party and leadership by reaching out to the nation’s morons who blame everything on benefit claimants.

In the speech, Mr Miliband revealed that if the Labour Party harbour serious ambitions to govern, they will have to start treating the poor with the same contempt as the Conservatives.

“People react to blame,” he insisted. “It’s all very well saying the country’s in a mess, but what people want to know is whose fault is it, and how will they be punished.”

“Well, we’re not taking the blame, so as long as taxi drivers are allowed to vote, we are going to have to point the finger at people on benefits.”

Finger pointing

Miliband went on to explain how pointing his finger at other people will be a central tenet of Labour’s campaigning before the next election.

He went on, “I’m not suggesting that everyone who is on benefits is committing fraud, but if we can plant that seed of suspicion then it will be a positive step on the road back to government.”

Prime Minister David Cameron has dismissed Mr Miliband’s speech and accused him of being “hopelessly out of touch” with the nation’s Joeys.

“This country’s arseholes aren’t going to fall for Mr Miliband’s words. When it comes to vilifying the poorest people in Britain, they want a party they can trust to deliver.”

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