Thursday 9 June 2011

Archbishop reminded that no-one voted for the ten commandments


After criticising the coalition government for implementing policies that no-one voted for, the Archbishop of Canterbury has been reminded that he’s spent his life advocating policies from a leader no-one can see, let alone vote for.

The Archbishop claimed in the New Statesman that the government implementing such policies had serious implications for democracy, seemingly forgetting the strict policies the unelected church has advocated for a couple of thousand years.

“That’s different,” said Dr Rowan Williams, “and you know it is.”

However, the coalition are said to be reassessing some of their policies, all because a man who believes that the universe was created by an omnipotent super-being described them as ‘madness’.

A Downing Street source told us, “It’s a difficult decision, certainly. Do we do as he says, or do we do as his organisation has done for hundreds of years.  We can’t do both, obviously.”

Let’s vote on it

The Archbishop’s stance has given many non-believers a difficult morning, with much time spent trying to take a logical position on the subject.

35 year-old shop-keeper Mike Williams told us, “As a confirmed atheist I’m not sure you understand just how uncomfortable it makes me to agree with him.”

“My default position is that anything that man says should be immediately dismissed, because it’s probably based on magic and fairy tales – but criticising the coalition just feels so right. You know?”

“That said, if he doesn’t want elected officials doing things people didn’t vote for, can we assume he’ll be giving up his seat in the House of Lords?”

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