Wednesday 8 June 2011 by Spacey

Scottish Power to increase piss taking by 19%


Scottish Power is to increase taking the piss out of its customers by 19% and not giving a toss by 10%, with other utility companies expected to follow suit.

The utility firm said the extra piss-taking, which would affect 2.4 million households in the UK, would come into effect from 1 August.

Raymond Jack, Scottish Power’s UK retail director, said: “Taking the piss out of our customers is not something that we undertake lightly.”

“I would like to reassure our customers that despite blaming sustained increases in the wholesale energy market for the increase in taking the piss, we’ll still be announcing huge profits next year.”

Urine extraction rises ‘necessary’

Scottish Power, which is part of Spanish company Iberdrola, last increased its pisstaking in November, when it rose 2% and not giving a toss went up by 8.9%.

Audrey Gallacher, head of energy at Consumer Focus, said “Companies have been softening customers up for a rise in blatant pisstaking for months but customers will be shocked at the scale of this rise.”

Consumers have revealed their confusion at the outrageous hike in piss-taking with 45 year old Malcolm Jevons of Hereford saying “I’m sure when they privatised everything they said the free market would control prices”

“You mean they were taking the piss?”

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