After Wayne Rooney revealed the results of his new hair transplant, former team-mate Gary Neville is to have a similar procedure to help aid the patchy hair growth on his top lip.
As a child during the hirsute heyday of the late 70s and early 80s, Neville grew up idolising legends of facial furniture like Tom Selleck, Hulk Hogan and of course, Graeme Souness, but in a cruel twist of fate he was cursed by late-onset bumfluff.
His dreams of emulating such manliness seemed shattered forever, but help is finally at hand for the former Manchester United captain – in the form of a revolutionary facial hair transplant.
Neville told friends, “I’m 36 years-old, I should have seen a decent bit of hair growing there by now, but it’s just not happening. I don’t see why I shouldn’t get some medical assistance.”
Surgeon Dr Amanda Ferry explained.”It’s a painful procedure, certainly, but there were no shortage of volunteers to work on Mr Neville’s face when he came through our doors.”
“There are also quite a few risks, but myself and every other member of the surgical team are more than willing to take that chance for Gary.”
Dr Ferry continued, “Standard practice dictates that we graft the donor follicles from the sideburns or somewhere behind the jaw-line.”
“However, with this particular patient I think we’ll achieve the most desirable results if we just remove one of his eyebrows.”
“Though my colleagues are adamant that we should try to match the hair that is already there,” she added.
“And for that we’re going to need his pubes.”