Tuesday 7 June 2011

Apple to finally charge you for things you already own


Apple has finally entered the lucrative market of repeatedly charging people sums of money for things they already own, with the launch of its iCloud service.

For many years Apple has exploited its position among Mac users by selling them just about everything they launch on the promise of it being something new, but iCloud marks a startling change in direction.

Gartner analyst Mike Williams told us, “Apples model has always been about building overpriced devices, and then convincing potential users that life is not worth living without one.”

“But now they are telling you to give them some money for that stuff you’ve already paid good money for – and not only that, but to keep doing it, year after year after year.”

“Normally I’d say this model is bound to fail, but it’s aimed at Mac fans and has the letter ‘i’ in front of it, so it’s actually proper balls-out genius, I have to say.”

Apple to charge for that

Apple spokesperson Steve Jobs said it was a new dawn in money making, and that soon Apple will be looking for charge you for everything you do – if they can get away with it.

He told the World Wide Developer Conference, “Getting people to pay us for things they already own is something of a panacea here at Apple, and we feel we’ve finally cracked it.”

“iCloud is just the beginning.  We’ll soon be looking to charge you for the right to tell people about things you’ve done, or to access the memory of places that you’ve been.”

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