Friday 3 June 2011

Morons still believing television is real


A growing number of simpletons have been left shocked to learn that Britain’s Got Talent is not about uncovering previously unknown artists, but about making Simon Cowell even richer.

Cowell is set to take legal action after a website suggested that the programme might as well be called Simon Cowell’s Got Money, such is the way in which the format is geared towards making him even more disgustingly wealthy.

Former television viewer Shane Jones told us, “I’m not sure I understand. Are you telling me there are people out there who genuinely believe that his shows are about discovering previously undiscovered talents? Seriously?”

“It would be so much easier if everyone just agreed that anything which involves Simon Cowell is produced solely in the interests of Simon Cowell.”

Britain’s Got Talent

Some experts have suggested that the entire show could be removed from our screens for good, if we could cut out the middle man and get all of the nation’s morons to agree to give Simon Cowell ten pounds each.

Media analyst Michael Wright said, “These shows are basically just one long focus group in which the entire nation helps Simon Cowell pick the one he thinks you will spend the most money on.”

“Oh, and then there are the truly embarrassing acts, which they throw in every now and again, just to allow viewers to undertake some socially acceptable bullying from the comfort of their own sofa.”

“You’ve got to give it to him, Cowell is a genius.  No wonder people in the industry are starting to call him the Moron Whisperer.”

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