Wednesday 1 June 2011 by Spacey

FIFA to increase number of people to bribe from 24 to 208


Fifa president Sepp Blatter has announced that future World Cup host countries will be chosen by a vote of all the member associations, increasing the number of people susceptible to bribery from 24 to 208.

Until now, any country wishing to host a World Cup has been limited to attempting to buy the vote of a 24-man executive committee, but Blatter has pledged to make the process fairer by allowing all 208 national associations to exploit the wealth of the bidding nations.

Speaking at the 61st Fifa congress, Blatter told a large room full of nodding heads, “We need to make radical reforms to restore confidence in Fifa.”

“We will make the ethics committee more independent by ensuring that the Committee members are elected by Fifa’s congress,” he revealed, causing several delegates to look up the word independent at dictionary.com.

“We will set up a committee to examine Fifa’s corporate governance to recommend changes, but, that’s right,you’ve guessed it,” he said to loud applause from the floor, “It will consist of people from Fifa” he chuckled.

FIFA’s new-ish policy

Blatter has been subject to criticism from football fans, with some claiming he adds nothing to the game, and dismissing him as a pointless irritant.

“All-in-all, he’s the football equivalent of Scrappy-Doo” slammed one fan.

However, some suggested the change is a good thing for football, with one fan telling us, “Pretty much anyone can bribe 24 people, but to financially incent 208 people shows you are truly committed to hosting the World Cup.”

“I think we can pretty much guarantee that future hosts will really, really want the tournament, and that the 208 representatives are going to enjoy some pretty special holidays.”

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