Thursday 26 May 2011 by Spacey

Blackpool council to market the benefits of ‘swimming with faeces’


The northern town of Blackpool is just one of a number of UK seaside resorts currently offering holidaymakers fun, sun, sand and the opportunity to swim with faeces.

It is believed by some that swimming with faeces has mystical qualities that can alleviate the symptoms of numerous illnesses, which is an image Blackpool council are eager to promote.

“I had severe rheumatoid arthritis,” revealed 64 year old Blackpool regular Wendy Taylor.

“But after just 30 minutes in the sea surrounded by faeces, I was leaping like a salmon.”

“It was incredible! You could literally grab onto faeces as it floated by. It was a truly magical experience.”

“People say that swimming with faeces is generally a once in a lifetime experience, and that most people have to travel round the world to experience it, but thankfully it’s now available right on our doorstep.”

Swimming with the faeces

Blackpool councillor, Eric Culshaw, Insists that if you want to swim amongst the faeces, then there’s no better place than Blackpool.

“People come from miles around to swim in our faeces,” he claimed.

“It’s not just for the healing qualities either.”

“You can go into the Blackpool sea all pale and white, but you come out with one hell of a tan.”

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