Tuesday 24 May 2011 by @JonnyBeelzebub

The Sun backs John Hemming for next general election


After using his parliamentary privilege to break two super-injunctions issued against them, the newspaper ‘wot won it’ for John Major in 1992 is to back John Hemming for 2015.

Hemming first used the power to break the injunction protecting Sir Fred Goodwin last month but his decision to expose Ryan Giggs has given him God-like status in the eyes of everyone at News International.

Now their best selling newspaper will install him as their favourite to be the next prime minister – whether he stands as a Lib Dem or part of a coalition, or even if he stands trial for murder.

“As we all know, Mr Murdoch actually despises David Cameron even more than the rest of us,” the Sun’s editor Dominic Mohan explained.

“But last time around he was faced with a choice between him, Brown or Clegg and for him that was like choosing between Ken Clarke’s different types of rape.”

Favours

“So Rupert will have us backing Mr Hemming because he likes a man that will do him a favour, you know?” Mohan continued.

“It’s like we say at The Sun – if you scratch our back, we’ll try not to stab you too often in yours.”

“And right now we want to make him PM, get him a knighthood and we’ll even throw in a couple of nights with a Welsh girl,” he added.

“We won’t even report it, either. Honest, we won’t.”

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