Tuesday 24 May 2011 by @JohnnyBeelzebub

Passenger confusion as Ryanair objects to travel misery


Thousands of air passengers have been questioning their entire system of beliefs after Ryanair appeared unwilling to ruin their holidays.

Irish aviation authorities ordered all flights out of Scotland to be grounded this morning, putting hundreds of vacations in jeopardy, but Ryanair have challenged the demand, leaving people doubting everything that have ever thought to be true.

“I first thought it was some kind of sick joke,” regular customer Jennifer Wright exclaimed.

“But it seems that Ryanair really are fighting tooth and nail in a valiant attempt to rescue my holiday and save me hundreds, perhaps thousands of pounds.”

“I see it happening, but I somehow still don’t quite believe it.”

Making people happy

Other passengers were also left bemused by the latest Ryanair strategy which appears to be focussed on delighting their passengers.

“It’s like they actually want to make people happy or something,” Harold Watson agreed, “and for no apparent reason, either.”

“I even found myself in the airport lounge proposing a toast in their honour – the place erupted with three cheers for Michael O’Leary, the all-new patron saint of travellers.”

“I’ve always been a fairly rational atheist but now I think he must have been touched by God, or there’s been a glitch in the matrix,” he continued.

“But I’m secretly hoping that my bank statement at the end of the month will show that they’ve needlessly overcharged me so that the natural order of things can be restored.”

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