Monday 23 May 2011

This is why we shouldn’t let people vote on anything, insists BAFTA


After The Only Way Is Essex won an award at the television BAFTAs, organisers insisted that this is the clearest sign yet that the people of the UK should not be allowed to vote on anything at all.

TOWIE won the people’s award, in which slack-jawed mouth-breathers at home voted for the production that had most entertained them this year.

A BAFTA spokesperson said, “They actually thought this was the best thing on television. Out of everything. Does this not strike you as a little worrying?”

“We have a generation of morons growing up believing that perma-tanned simpletons who couldn’t act their way out of a paper bag are the best the ‘arts’ have to offer.”

“I’m sure if ITV3 launch a new show which is merely 30 minutes of monkeys throwing shit at each other, it would sweep the boards at next years event. No, you can’t have that idea.”

Only Way Is Essex

However fans of the show insisted the award is richly deserved.

Sharon Botly told us, “I fink it’s great. It’s just like a real life, innit? Well, what I fink real life is like – I mean, I’d probably know for certain if I ever left the house.”

BAFTA member Debbie Williams said, “There must be some way of tracking the people down, and removing them from the electoral register? I doubt very much they’d notice.”

“I strongly suggest we do the same for anyone who has ever voted on X Factor, or Britain’s Got Talent, too.”

The Only Way (to sound like a fucking moron) Is Essex T-Shirt

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