Monday 23 May 2011

Awareness of Scotland at all-time high


General awareness of ‘Scotland’ among the English population is at an all-time high after one of its newspapers outed a footballer who had secured a super-injunction.

With Scotland previously thought of as a barren wasteland located just past the Lake District, English people are now wondering what other civilisation might be lurking north of the border.

Social anthropologist Simon Davis told us, “If they’ve got newspapers, then they’ve probably got some form of primitive language, plus some rudimentary form of currency.”

“There’s even the possibility they’ve evolved into a form of civilisation capable of integrating with the rest of the western world.  Possibly. But I wouldn’t put money on it.”

People aware of Scotland

Though awareness of Scotland is sweeping across England, there are still many English people still with little grasp of what goes on North of Gateshead.

Jane Fowler, who hasn’t read a paper or seen a television for over 24 hours said, “Scotland? Isn’t that the place from that Mel Gibson film? Yeah, I’m not sure I could point to it on a map to be honest.”

“My Grandad used to tell me stories about it when I was little.  About all the dragons and alcoholics and that. It sounded scary.”

However, most people are now acutely away of the country that shares a border with the north of England.

Mike Adams told us, “Oh Scotland? Yeah, that’s the place with that newspaper, right? Yeah, I know all about Scotland. And its newspaper.”

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