Friday 20 May 2011 by @JohnnyBeelzebub

If you really want to know – just Google it, says absolutely everyone


Everyone who knows has told everyone that wants to know to simply type it into Google, it has emerged.

As most people are aware, the Internet is a whole world of knowledge made available by the touch of a button, and anything you want to know – even if you are not supposed to know it – can be on your screens in about 0.34 seconds.

“It’s what it’s there for,” explained someone who knows.

“Even if you want to know how to make a 400lb bomb, where to get all the parts and how to assemble it.”

“You can just type your question into any search engine and before you even press enter it will suggest an answer for you.”

Do you know what you don’t know?

People who did not know before but now know everything have reacted with amazement.

“Un-fucking-believable!” One clearly astonished man exclaimed.

“At any time I like I can find out who plays the Earl of Grantham in Downton Abbey, or who is the most successful player in the history of English football.”

“I can even find out something really obscure, like who is the Group Resourcing Director at the Royal Bank of Scotland!”

“Turns out it’s someone named Susan Bor and she’s not bad looking, either,” he added.

“I wouldn’t mind having her in my office.”

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