Thursday 19 May 2011 By James Palmer

Ticketmaster confirm Second Coming of Jesus Tour a ‘Sell Out’


Ticketmaster bosses confirmed today that, as expected, there has been unprecedented demand for tickets for the second coming of Jesus this Saturday.

The Ticketing website went into meltdown as it was ‘leaked’ on American radio that the 21st of May would in fact be Judgement Day.

A Ticketmaster spokesman said, “We weren’t surprised by the demand for tickets. Jesus is still a huge draw, and this is a great chance for fans to see him live for the first time.”

The spokesman added, “We’re not exactly sure what Jesus has in store yet for the comeback tour. He’s keeping very quiet about it.”

“We suspect we will get some of his classics like turning water into wine and healing lepers and stuff, but we’ve been told that this show will also have more of a Judgement Day feel too it.”

Rapute ‘sold out’

Reverend and long-time Jesus fan Rev Andrew Hobbs claimed he was thrilled yet cautious about the return of his boyhood hero.

“This is Judgement Day, this is it. Not to be taking lightly. Jesus, the son of god, will return to cast those who have sinned into the mouth of hell.”

“Hopefully there will be a circus or something too, like Take That had.”

Fans lucky enough to already have a ticket have been promised an after show party, nicknamed ‘the rapture’, which is set to rival any that went before it.

But those who have missed out this time were boosted by the news that there is scheduled to be additional dates added in late December 2012.

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