Thursday 19 May 2011 by Spacey

Ken Clarke to join Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s defence team


Justice secretary Ken Clarke has been called up by Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s defence team in the hope that he can convince an American jury their client is not guilty of allegations of serious sexual assault, but a new lesser charge of ‘love ambush’.

Former IMF head Strauss-Kahn’s defence team are believed to be impressed with the reports they have received of Mr Clarke’s stance regarding the categorisation of sexual assault.

“We’d be keen to get Mr Clarke’s input,” said Mr Strauss-Kahn’s lawyer, Benjamin Brafman.

“The fact that the alledged assault took place in luxurious 5 star surroundings is something that we’ll look to use to our advantage.”

“Seriously, you should see the room! If you’re going to be subjected to a sexual assault then you couldn’t choose a better location.”

Clarke to help Strauss-Kahn

Mr Clarke, who is due to appear on tonight’s Question Time, has been strongly criticised for the comments he made on BBC Radio 5live, but he remains adamant that his views have been completely misunderstood.

“All I’m saying is that it’s not like Dominique leapt out of a bush or anything.  He didn’t threaten her with a knife, he only threatened her with his power and status, which everyone knows are completely harmless.”

“He was also kind enough to go to her place of work and use clean bedding, that should count for something, right?”

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