Wednesday 18 May 2011

Maybe Schwarzenegger was a real politician after all, admit Americans


After former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he had a secret child with a member of his staff, American voters have admitted that maybe he actually had what it takes to succeed in US politics.

Schwarzenegger and his wife Pam Shriver announced their split after the news broke, ensuring further media accusations that Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually more than capable of being a politician after all.

One California voter told us, “I had him down as this simpleton actor, playing a desperately incompetent politician – but anyone capable of keeping a secret like this for ten years is capable of running the country, definitely.”

“It takes cunning, nerve, and all-out balls to do this under the nose of your wife. Schwarzenegger babies aren’t easy to hide you know, leave them along for a five minutes and they start taking down buildings – so yes, he’s impressed me.”

“I never knew he had it in him. He’s a better actor than I thought, too.”

Schwarzeneggers split

US political analysts have begun asking why Schwarzenegger didn’t announce his secret love-child whilst in office, as it would have given him the quiet air of a man capable of getting things done.

Political correspondent PJ Harmon told us, “I think we all know it’s not up there with a blow job in the White House, but a baby with the maid is a definite stepping stone along the way.”

“If he wanted credibility as a politician all he had to do was tell us he’d been shagging around behind his wife’s back, had got someone pregnant, and had been keeping the child secret for years.”

“His ongoing role as a California state Governor would have been instantly more believable.”

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