Wednesday 18 May 2011 By @JohnnyBeelzebub

Can’t you just complain to Points of View? Queen asks the IRA


Queen Elizabeth II has asked the IRA to write an angry letter to the BBC’s complaints programme if they have a problem with her incessant presence on their TV screens.

The Queen’s visit has caused outrage among some sections of the Irish public after it led to changes to several programmes, including the unprecedented rescheduling of Telly Bingo.

Her Majesty has now told the IRA that the bombs and scare tactics they have been using are a bit of an overreaction, and that a complaint to Terry Wogan’s replacement could work wonders for them.

“Look, we understand that you don’t really want me here, continuously interrupting the ongoing coverage of the financial crisis,” the Queen admitted.

Good boys

“We do not like to miss Eastenders, either. But there is a reason for us being here and all these silly bombs and threats are really going against the best intentions of our visit.”

“So please be good boys and write to Points of View instead, just like everybody else.”

“If we’ve managed to share something as irritable as Sir Wogan and his wig for so long, perhaps we should give peace a chance, too,” Her Majesty added.

“Anything has to be better than him.”

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