Tuesday 17 May 2011

PFA to offer Nile Ranger training in handgun posing techniques


The Professional Footballers Association is set to offer Newcastle’s Nile Ranger training in the correct way to pose with a firearm.

The 20 year-old Newcastle forward was pictured in an amateurish pose holding a gun for what appeared to the first time, to the disgust of his fellow young professionals.

PFA Chairman Gordon Taylor told us, “Nile has a lot to learn, clearly. At one end of the scale we have his pathetic pose with a fake gun, and at the other end we have Ashley Cole taking a real one to training and shooting someone.”

“Nile is going to have to show that level of commitment if he really wants to get to the very top in this game.”

“But at the most basic level, if he can’t hold a gun in the correct manner then he gives all footballers a bad name.”

Nile Ranger’s gun pose

Newcastle fans have said the incident has been blown out of all proportion, insisting Ranger was never likely to be of any danger to anyone.

Newcastle resident Simon Matthews said, “Posing for photos whilst holding what looks like a deadly weapon is a right of passage for all young black footballers, right?”

Season ticket holder Mick Gollowgate told us, “All this attention is silly, I’ve seen him shoot and you’re in no danger whatsoever as long you stand directly in front of him.”

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