Friday 13 May 2011 By @JohnnyBeelzebub

Andy Coulson in awe of Alastair Campbell’s bollocks


Andy Coulson has confessed his admiration for the sheer bollocks Alastair Campbell is capable of talking, and of the balls he has to do so.

After a witness disputed Campbell’s Iraq crap at the Chilcott cover-up, former News of the World bullshitter-in-chief Andy Coulson spoke of his amazement at the amount of arse gravy his predecessor is able to summon from deep within his bowels.

“I knew at the time that it was complete cack,” Coulson explained convincingly.

“Because no one can spot shit like a crapmonger, and as another former Downing Street Director of Communications, that’s exactly what I am.”

Wiring

“But what a lot of people don’t realise is that people like me and Ally have a different wiring to most that’s got nothing to do with phone taps,” Coulson continued.

“You see these holes under our noses? If you look carefully, you can see that they’re actually arseholes, and that’s how we’re able to spew huge amounts of crap almost at will.”

“Though I think Alastair must’ve had his intestinal tract hooked up to his and that must take some balls,” he added.

“And you just have to admire those, don’t you?”

Mr Campbell has responded by saying that the feeling is mutual, though he may have been lying.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: