Wednesday 11 May 2011 by Spacey

Lib Dems must be more ‘muscular’ to assert their identity, insists Whatsisface


Leader of the Liberal Democrats and deputy Prime Minister of the coalition government, Thingymabob, has said the Lib Dems will be more “muscular” in government and their influence more “visible”.

Mr Oojamaflip has been under pressure from Lib Dem activists following last weeks disastrous showing in council elections and the referendum in which voters overwhelmingly decided that AV was even shitter than first-past-the-post.

David Cameron has dismissed claims that the Lib Dems are a “moderating” influence.

“Let me be perfectly clear on this, Rick and I are working in unison to tackle difficult issues.”

“Nick, sorry I meant Nick.”

“Nick Beggs and I are working in Unison….Oh no wait, I’m thinking of the bass player from Kajagoogoo.”

“Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change, you know the one? Looks like a giant dwarf? Kicked off in a cabinet meeting? He backed his under-fire leader by insisting ‘We must focus on our achievements and get fully behind Dick’.”

“I mean Nick! Sorry, force of habit.”

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