Tuesday 10 May 2011 by @JohnnyBeelzebub

Pakistanis ask Bush and Blair to teach them how to lie through their teeth


Pakistani officials have contacted George W Bush and his little friend for tips on how to tell big juicy whoppers while keeping a straight face.

The Pakistani government have some serious fibbing to do in the coming weeks and months and have sought the advice of accomplished con men, deciding now that they will settle for nothing less than the two biggest bullshitters in the business.

“We’re in a bit of bother with this one,” admitted Lieutenant General Ahmad Pasha, Director of Inter-Services Intelligence.

“Every time any of us tries to deny knowing where Bin Laden was, we keep fluffing our lines and pissing ourselves with laughter.”

“I mean actually letting bits of wee out, too, which I don’t usually mind doing but it shows up pretty bad on these beige uniforms.”

Pakistan seeking bullshit assistance

The inability of the officials to stop laughing while telling these lies, and the huge laundry bill that is being accumulated, has now led them to plead for the assistance of the most famous fabulists in living memory.

“If you want to be the best, you have to learn from the best,” the ISI Director continued.

“And Bush and his sidekick are still the greatest exponents of verbal diarrhoea in history.”

“I mean that whole WMD fantasy fib was just genius. It even had me and Osama going for a while.”

“Not that Osama of course, poor bugger’s dead,” Pasha added.

“See – I’m getting good at this already.”

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