Tuesday 10 May 2011 by Formelia Alberthine

Mosley loses bid to be alerted of desperate need to acquire ‘super injunction’


Max Mosley has lost his European Court of Human Rights bid to force newspapers to give him enough time to scurry off to the High Court to acquire the super injunction that could prevent his misdemeanours from being revealed.

The verdict in Strasbourg is a blow to the former motorsport boss whose enjoyment of the more sensual aspects of anti-Semitism led to a front page spread detailing his penchant for reprising Nazi themed violence during various states of undress.

Mosley told reporters he would appeal the verdict, otherwise he would be left in the completely unworkable position of never being able to trust a prostitute again.

He said, “I have been beside myself with worry as to how I will be able to look a hooker in the eye and know for sure that she isn’t just going to run off to the press and reveal our private goings on.”

“I need to know, that should this beautifully intimate moment of monetised passion threaten to disrobe itself in the public eye in the most gratuitous and sordid way, that I will be given the the proper opportunity to suppress it in the courts.”

Mosley needs notice for super injunction

Press bosses vehemently opposed the move, seeking to maintain the right to inform the public of when a well known personality has been caught with his pants voluntarily down.

One former tabloid worker told us,  “The public has right to know what parts of Mr. Mosley’s body are erogenous, or which buttock he seeks to have spanked first – of course they do.”

“It’s like a user manual. People have a right to know that touching him in a certain place could cause his behaviour to alter markedly.”

“If only you knew what we’re not supposed to know, you would wholeheartedly agree.”

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