Friday 6 May 2011 By Formelia Alberthine

Bin Laden planned for Bob Crow to oversee US rail disaster


A dossier found at Osama Bin Laden’s compound suggest he was planning to create more panic in the US by recruiting RMT Union leader Bob Crow to oversee a prolonged campaign of industrial action across the country’s rail network.

The documents show that Crow was to be offered a six-figure salary with a view to replicating his method of holding an entire city hostage by completely shutting down its entire rail infrastructure with seemingly little recourse from authorities.

It has become clear that Bin Laden was brimming with admiration for a man who could bring millions of innocent people to their knees and remain at liberty to repeat the feat time after time.

“This just goes to demonstrate the level of intent and hatred that Bin Laden had for the US,” a CIA spokesman explained.

“Sure we were worried about the potential he had to deploy a dirty bomb on American soil but the biggest of those he could have utilised would have to be the fearsome weapon used by the RMT – The Dirty Bob.”

“And we are all too aware of the panic The Dirty Bob can create and also the unusually regular basis he can do it, especially for someone affiliated with London Underground.”

Offer

Crow has denied any offer was made by the terror chief but did state that he would almost certainly have listened to any offer, provided it did not come via Boris Johnson.

“He may have had a reputation for being a bit of a bastard but Bin Laden was a good leader,” Crow admitted.

“Which made him a bit like me, really, although he probably didn’t  have the long term interests of his followers in mind.”

“And with all the camels in his part of the world, he had an infinitely more reliable transport network.”

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