Thursday 5 May 2011 by @JohnnyBeelzebub

Bob Crow delights Londoners by announcing more unofficial holidays


Just days after the unofficial holiday granted to celebrate the royal wedding, RMT boss Bob Crow has the people of London overjoyed once again with even more excuses to take a day or two off work.

While openly telling their bosses of the disgust they feel for the RMT general secretary, Londoners secretly love the patron saint of the lazy and his announcement yesterday of a further six days of industrial action has ensured himself of a place in their hearts forever.

“You’ve got love him, haven’t you?” beamed jubilant cockney, Henry Greaves.

“Just when I think I’ve had enough time off and fallen weeks behind in my work, along comes dear old Bob with another excuse to fuck it all off and top-up my sunburn.”

“Hopefully by the end of this next set of strikes I’ll finally achieve the Freddy Krueger look I’ve always wanted.”

Just a few days

“He’s the gift that keeps on giving,” another London resident, Ellen Masters, agreed.

“I won’t take all the days off, mind. Just the ones that fall on Mondays and Fridays, and then I can just go in a few hours late for the rest of them.”

“I’m just not the type to take the complete piss, you see,” Miss Masters added. “If I was I’d be signed up with the RMT.”

Crow was wise enough to avoid the wrath of average working Londoners by avoiding any action on weekends, which could interfere with their all-important social lives.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: