Thursday 28 April 2011

Geordie Shore debut set to reopen Eugenics debate


The imminent launch of MTV’s reality entertainment show ‘Geordie Shore’ looks set to re-open the Eugenics debate at dinner tables across the country.

The programme will follow the adventures of several image-obsessed borderline simpletons as they go about their daily lives in the cosmopolitan metropolis that is Newcastle Upon Tyne.

With promotional materials already beginning to surface, many television owners have pleaded with the nation’s lawmakers for a free and open debate on the potential benefits of eugenics.

One pro-eugenics supporters told us, “I’m not saying that forcefully removing some people from the gene pool is always a good thing, but even a cursory glance at the promotional trailers for this show would convince anyone that these people should never, ever be allowed to replicate themselves.”

“A small trial in the  north-east could prove the benefits quite quickly.”

“We could tell the men we’re giving them penis enlargements, they’d go for that, definitely.  A little snip and we’re all done.  No more Geordie Shore babies.”

Geordie Shore set for debut

MTV spokesperson Shane Williams told us, “We’re excited about the launch, definitely.  With the likes of My Sweet 16 and Teen Mom, MTV is committed to ensuring international fame for the most morally reprehensible human beings that we can find.”

“And let me say this, I really think that we’ve outdone ourselves this time.”

“Think The Only Way is Essex, but without all the cultural refinement.”

The Geordie Shore effect is already rippling through police society, with previously liberal middle-classes calling for an urgent eugenics review.

Office worker Jane Matthews told us, “Every fibre of my being screams that tinkering with the genetic make-up of our society is wrong, but that thirty second trailer convinced me that these people can not be allowed to pass on their genetic material.  Humankind is at stake.”

“If we stand by and let Geordie Shore happen unhindered, the history books will not look upon us favourably, I assure you.”

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