Thursday 21 April 2011 by Andrew Driscoll

Majority of men perfectly happy with the amount of porn they watch


A study has discovered that 75% of men are perfectly happy with the amount of Internet porn they use, thank you very much.

In a survey by the BBC it was reported that only a quarter of men reported any kind of problems with the amount of Internet adult material they have access too, focusing mainly on the concern that they might one day ‘run out’.

One of the 25% concerned, Stephen Jameson told us, “Several hours a week allows me to keep on top of any new developments, but what happens if I get ahead of the curve?”

“Oh God, imagine if that was it. Imagine if I’d seen it all?”

“How can I beat myself into a masturbatory frenzy without instant access to hundreds of thousands of poorly paid eastern European women debasing themselves for my pleasure?”

25% worried by porn use

The reports claim men that spend more than 10 hours a week on adult sites may experience social problems.

A finding that left many of those surveyed confused, “Ten hours? Ten whole hours? I only typically need to use them for bout ten minutes a day, what are people doing for 10 hours?”

“If they’re watching it for that long I’d suggest their real problem is that they need someone to show them where the good stuff is.”

“Plus, how can they hide for that long from their wives?”

Many grown men too old to take part in the survey insisted they have little sympathy for plight of today’s youngsters.

41 year-old Mike Downing told us, “In my day it was a small amount of quiet time with the lingerie section of the Littlewoods catalogue, and Bob’s your Uncle.”

“Even to this day, any book thicker than an inch still gives me an erection.”

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