Monday 18 April 2011 by Spacey

Readers left confused after Daily Star publishes actual news story


Readers of the Sunday edition of the Daily Star have spent the last 24 hours in a heightened state of confusion after the paper published an actual story about a real news event.

Concerns were raised after the story, which revealed details of the Ministry of Defence accidently placing secret documents about UK nuclear powered submarines online, failed to feature Katie Price, Alex Reid, Peter Andre or a root vegetable that looks a bit like Elvis.

Long time Daily Star picture looker-ater Dave Williams told us, “I didn’t get it. There were no suggestions that the submarine in question resembled a celebrity’s penis, or that Kerry Katona had been on it.”

The paper has apologised to its readers for the error and revealed it is investigating claims that a journalist may have been working at the paper undetected.

Claims of ‘news’ in Daily Star

A spokesperson for the paper said, “We would like to assure all of our readers that we take accusations of journalism very seriously.”

“We will be undertaking a thorough review of our procedures to ensure that there are no repeats of this unfortunate incident.”

The tabloid has set up a phone line offering help and support to readers, who up until now had been completely unaware of the existence of a world where people could travel in strange underwater craft.

Anyone needing help to come to terms with the findings can call the Nympho Teen Vixen’s Very Hotline on 0898 58008 618. Calls cost £1.50 per minute.Please get the bill payer’s permission before calling.

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