Friday 15 April 2011 by Spacey

We’ll stop pretending to disagree after the local elections, confirm Tories and Lib Dems


With local elections approaching the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats have started attempts to convince voters that the coalition is not one political party hellbent on dismantling everything in the country.

Early indications suggest they are succeeding in convincing the electorate that they are in fact two separate political parties hellbent on dismantling everything in the country.

Over the last 24 hours disputes between the two parties include Chancellor George Osbourne clashing with Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander over the alternative vote referendum, Business Secretary Vince Cable attacking Prime Minister David Cameron’s speech on immigration, and Nick Clegg becoming confused and beating the crap out of himself outside a wine bar in Kensington.

The Prime Minister has responded angrily to Mr Cable describing the words used in his immigration speech as ‘unwise’ by promising to be really cross with him for at least 21 days.

A Downing Street spokesperson said “It is important for the electorate to realise that for the next 3 weeks the Liberal Democrats and conservatives will fight the local elections as separate parties on the issues they feel are important.”

“But on May 6th we’ll go back to being in complete agreement about everything.”

“We’ve had assurances from Vince Cable that once the local elections are over he will give a speech that will be known as the ‘learn the lingo or fuck off home’ speech”

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