Tuesday 12 April 2011

Jessie J shocked by amount of bear shit in the woods


Pop star Jessie J has expressed her complete surprise at the amount of bear shit to be found in wooded areas around the world.

Jessie was speaking following a concert in Ireland after which someone gave her a book on bear toilet habits.

She told reporters, “I can’t believe it, I’m completely astonished to see this. Shocked, actually.”

“I guess that because I’ve never shat in a woods myself it seems strange to think bears would do it.”

“I like a walk in the woods as much as the next girl, but it upset me – you know, to learn about the amount of Ursidae excrement all over the place.”

“And it’s not just in the woods, it seems animals are shitting all over the place.  As a non-public shitter I find that difficult to see.”

Jessie J shocked

Jessie J’s comments have left bear enthusiasts everywhere surprised at her level of ignorance regarding what goes on in the real world.

Bear-lover Mike Williams told us, “What did she think happens in the woods? Did she believe the bears went off to a specially constructed toilet block?”

“It’s naivety of the highest order to think this doesn’t go on.  She should try living in the shit-filled real world for a bit.”

Speaking on Twitter Jessie J was keen to defuse the situation, saying, “I’d like to apologise for any offense my remarks caused, bears are of course entitle to shit in any way they see fit.”

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