Monday 11 April 2011 by Spacey

Sky Sports unveils Gary Neville limited-edition remote control


Sky Sports have unveiled a special remote control device which they hope will assist subscribers viewing football coverage that contains the opinions of former Manchester United right back Gary Neville.

Neville was confirmed as Sky Sports’ new pundit on Friday and will join the team from next season, raising concerns that despite his retirement from playing his Mancunian whining will become almost completely unavoidable.

The limited edition controller will come with an enlarged easy to find ‘mute’ button, as well as a bias reduction option for any viewers that aren’t Man United fans.

Sky Sports are keen not to lose viewers to other games where incessant and biased commentary tends to be far less common.

It is hoped that the ‘mute’ option will encourage viewers to stay loyal to watching football, and to the channel itself.

A Sky Sports spokesperson heralded the innovative controller as, “the dawn of a new era in avoiding the opinions of Gary Neville.”

“We are always striving to improve the Sky Sports viewing experience and we hope that the ease in which viewers can turn Gary Neville off will add another dimension to that experience.”

Sky Sports viewers have greeted details of the new controller with enthusiasm, insisting that anything which reduced exposure to Gary Neville has to be seen as a good thing.

Viewer Dave Williams told us, “When I heard that Gary Neville had signed a deal with Sky Sports I immediately went on Twitter to issue the hollow threat that I would be cancelling my subscription.”

“But having seen the new controller I have to admit that the ability to switch Gary Neville off so easily has really won me over.”

“All we need now is for the BBC to develop a controller that can increase the brightness of Alan Shearer and we’ll be sorted.”

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