Monday 4 April 2011

Stamps finally worth counterfeiting


As the cost of first-class stamps rose to 46p, counterfeiters everywhere have admitted that they’re probably now worth enough to start manufacturing them themselves.

The 5p rise is the largest single price increase in history, and has been blamed on Royal Mail’s modernisation programme and the fact that nobody posts letters any more.

A spokesperson for the counterfeiting industry said, “We don’t really care about the justification for raising the price of stamps well above the rate of inflation, we just care that people are probably willing to buy a few moody ones now.”

“A fake tenner is pretty hard work to produce, but a simple first class stamp is an absolute doddle, and I’ve got to admit it looks like a very lucrative market right now.”

“The cost of making a tenner could be spent making about thirty stamps, so it makes perfect economic sense if you think about it.”

First class stamp rises to 46p

The price rise is also likely to see a shift in the behaviour of postal workers, who might be forced to consider stealing the stamps themselves, rather than the contents of the envelope.

Former postman Sam Michaels told us, “It’s a business decision, a bit like on Deal Or No Deal.  Do you risk opening the envelope and drawing attention to your delivery route when there might not be anything good in there – or just take the stamp at face value?”

“I’ll bet there are hundreds of postal workers who would be happy just to take the stamp in the current climate.”

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