Monday 28 March 2011 by Spacey

StartUp Britain website to help big companies sell tat to small companies


Prime Minister David Cameron is due to speak at the launch of a private sector initiative encouraging some of the UK’s most recognised brands to offer crap deals to people attempting to set up their own business.

The StartUp Britain website will be the premier place for existing brands to pitch their wares with insultingly small discounts to people who don’t know any better.

Amongst the deals for people aiming to start their own business include an offer from opticians Glasses Direct, who offer 20% off prescription glasses for anyone launching their own company.

“Deals like this will be a real boost for entrepreneurs with bad eyesight,” the Prime Minister insisted.

StartUp Britain website

People are clambering over themselves to take advantage of many of the deals, with the government hoping it will encourage people to start up on their own.

One budding entrepreneur told us, “I had assumed that now would probably be the most diffiicult of times to set up a new business, but I’ve got to say that the Prime Minister makes it sound like an absolute piece of piss!”

“I can get 50 business cards for free and buy one get one free at Pizza Express,” said Gary Hedges from a company he set up this morning called Placenta of the Universe.

“I’m going to buy and sell afterbirth.” he said triumphantly.

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